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Perhaps we could describe today’s world thus: it is the best of times, it is the worst of times.
Research suggests that the world we’re living in is safer than it has ever been before at any previous point in history. People are healthier and richer. We have fewer life-or-death concerns. And yet, at the same time, we are still seeing wars, poverty, prejudice, needless violence and preventable illness. People still seem to hate one another for reasons as seemingly minor as the colour of our skin, our spiritual beliefs, where we live, the foods we eat, the way we live and so on. Due to social media and the way it has shrunk the world and made it easy to be in constant contact, anger, pain and hatred are all amplified more than ever. Sometimes it seems like the most furious voices are the loudest, which makes it hard to remember that not everyone shares such virulent perspectives.
Since many of us are now “friends” on social media with colleagues, we sometimes see their opinions, which may differ from ours and even be unsavoury or offensive. It can feel really hard to see people by the water cooler and know that they posted a “humorous” meme about our ethnic group or that they attended a protest in favour of a policy we ourselves feel strongly against. This can ruin our relationship with them and make it challenging to have to collaborate with them or even communicate with them at work. So what can we do?
First, we need to acknowledge that life these days is very tense and that the UK – not to mention other nations – is a large country with a multitude of views. In the past few weeks alone, we’ve seen a protest in London on September 7th that was pro-Palestine and anti-Zionist and that led to a number of arrests, and then a protest the very next day against the increased antisemitism that is affecting the UK, partially in response to the multitude of pro-Palestine actions taking place in Jewish-heavy areas. In Norwich, meanwhile, there have been regular protests outside a hotel that is housing refugees; some of the protests have been agitating for the refugees to leave the UK, while the counter-protests have been arguing that refugees should be welcome here. And that’s just two locations in the UK; the fact is that protests and counter-protests are happening all around the world on a regular basis.
On the one hand, we could argue that it’s a brilliant thing that people are allowed and even encouraged to speak their minds (with the proviso being that this isn’t actually allowed in all countries or for all citizens; there have been news items about people getting arrested or expelled due to protesting). Free speech is incredibly important in order to preserve democracy. We should all be able to say what we think without worrying that we might get arrested, thrown out of a country, or even made to “disappear”. We should all fight for the right of people to say how they feel and think, even if we disagree with their thoughts and feelings. As Evelyn Beatrice Hall wrote in the early 20th century, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.
On the other hand, perhaps we shouldn’t be quite so quick to say whatever we think at any time. We should remember that our words can hurt or offend others. People on the other side of an argument are still just that, i.e. people. We’re all human beings and we all deserve respect and dignity. You might think that political policy X is absolutely and self-evidently idiotic, but that very same policy could protect another human’s life and livelihood; it could just be that you haven’t yet spoken to such a person, so you haven’t learned about the policy’s impact on their life. What would you do if you met such a person and could talk to them about their perspective?
Or, as another example, you might belong to a particular ethnic group and cherish its customs, beliefs, foods and so on, but one of your coworkers might have been taught from their childhood a very stereotyped view of your group. Your coworker could make jokes about your group or even think people of your background don’t belong in this country. How would this make you feel? Would you feel able to say something directly to your coworker or to human resources at your workplace? Would you be willing to collaborate on a project with this colleague? These are just a couple of examples, but they show the importance for all of us in slowing down, trying to learn more about other people and other points of view (such as by meeting people who differ from us), and also in being careful about what we say and when we say it.
This is worth emphasising: even though we have free speech and technically can say what we want, when we want to, to whom we want, we should also try to be sensible and considerate with our free speech. Remember the acronym THINK – is what we are going to say truthful, is it helpful, is it inspiring/important (the “I” in “THINK” can stand for both), is it necessary and is it kind? If it isn’t those things, do we still feel we should say it? Do we really need to say it? Have we considered the potential impact of our words on other people and our relationships with them?
If we do still speak up, we have to also recall that free speech isn’t actually truly free. There are costs to free speech, including in regard to the larger political protests we’ve been seeing more often in recent times. Some costs are financial, such as extra police having to be on duty to watch over the protests and thus not being able to carry out other tasks. Some are practical, such as road closures, increased traffic, changing routes, lack of access to stores or offices and similar. Some are emotional, such as the aforementioned discomfort people might feel with friends, relatives or colleagues, who are attending protests on subjects they don’t share the same views on, or who are experiencing the stress or fear of having to walk past protestors. Some of the emotional or practical costs could also lead to physical ones, such as stress leading to an increased heart rate, which in turn makes someone have a panic attack, or someone having to take an unfamiliar route and being late to work or having a car accident because they don’t know those roads.
In addition, sometimes when people speak freely, they say things that are inaccurate or downright untrue; they may or may not be aware of this and if they are aware, they may not care. This means that sometimes, free speech has the distinctly negative cost of spreading misinformation or falsehoods, and this can incite people to violence or other hurtful actions and can damage others, potentially even costing them their lives.
In short, there are clear advantages and also some potential disadvantages to free speech. So the question then is how this impacts the workplace. At work, we want to get along smoothly with people and do our best to accept them for who they are, not least so we can cooperate on work tasks, even if we aren’t even going to be good friends outside of work who like to go to the pub and celebrate special occasions together. That means we have to acknowledge that we will have differences of opinion and that we should be able to handle this like mature adults.
One way forward would be for a workplace to set a guideline that suggests that people avoid discussions about tricky subjects, such as religion, politics, money, whether to have children or remain childfree, views on sexuality and gender and much more. However, some of those topics may touch on the work you do and be unavoidable. Furthermore, it’s pretty hard, and possibly unfair, to try to restrict what people discuss, especially if it relates directly to their own lives, because then you are asking them not to be their full selves at work.
Instead, then, it could be better to offer guidelines for how people might talk about challenging or controversial subjects. You can remind people, as already noted, to THINK. You can also acknowledge that sometimes it can be anxiety-inducing to discuss certain subjects and that colleagues might want to carefully consider whether they need to cause this anxiety for themselves or others.
If they still do want to discuss a topic, suggest that people invite conversation rather than springing it on someone. It might be better to book a time and location for it, instead of raising it while waiting for the kettle to boil during a brief coffee break. Also, certain conversations could take place in private rather than in the staff canteen or hallway. Additionally, consider whether a neutral party – another colleague or even an ombudsman or therapist – could be there.
Remind people to have an open mind in such conversations. No one knows everything and they certainly don’t know others’ experiences, beliefs, thoughts or feelings. There’s no point in trying to have a discussion if you aren’t going to listen and learn. When you listen, don’t spend the time deciding what you’ll say next and try not to react emotionally to their words, because then you aren’t focusing on their perspective. If you find you are getting too worked up to listen, take a break. Additionally, people should try to use “I” statements, rather than accusing or blaming. A comment such as “I feel offended and upset when I hear people make jokes about X group. I don’t think this is appropriate for the workplace.” works better than “You’re such a jerk because you tell racist jokes at work.”
It’s okay if no resolution is obvious by the end of the conversation. People can agree to disagree, and yet they can still have a slightly better understanding of the other person and their viewpoint after having had an open discussion. A slightly improved comprehension is better than nothing. People can always return to the conversation another time, if all parties would like to.
Also, of course, free speech extends not only to larger societal concerns but also to people talking about specific issues within the workplace, such as complaints about how something is done or worries about a colleague. So make sure all staff know who to talk to if they have concerns about a particular subject, i.e. “Please see X in human resources if you feel you’ve heard a racist/sexist comment.” Or “Please speak to your manager directly if you would like to suggest a new approach.” Don’t leave staff moaning about something in private because they don’t know who to talk to, as this will cause a bad atmosphere for everyone. Let them know a clear chain of command.
In sum, these are in many ways unprecedented times. People are often quite divided and we all feel things very strongly. Free speech is wonderful in theory but can sometimes be challenging in practice and can have real costs. There are steps we can take to minimise these costs, such as by setting time and space aside for having harder conversations and by trying to learn from one another. This is possible both in the workplace and in greater society and we should all strive towards it.
Top tips:
- Free speech is an important thing and should be protected.
- That doesn’t mean that it’s okay to say and do anything you want.
- Remember to THINK before speaking or before clicking “post” or “like” on a message on social media.
- Go directly to people to talk calmly with them rather than complaining about them. Listen to others’ perspectives.
- Make sure staff know who to talk to in the case of concerns or difficulties.
Written by Dr B.J. Woodstein (Research Associate, PILAA)
For help with supporting your teams with facilitating difficult conversations, self-censorship and free speech whether with workshop training, working on policies and guidance, or even mediations, please get in touch with our team. We’re here to listen and not to judge.